Cheesy Movie Moments *part 1*

You know when in shows or movies something scary or bad happens and the main girl and her man (or maybe a potential "her man") instinctively hold each other? She reaches for him and he presses her to his chest? It always seems silly and slightly over dramatic because really who does that in impending danger? Isn't it get the fuck out time?

But I was watching that overused gesture today and all I could think was G-d I wish Chris was here. I wanted to transport myself into his arms. I was thinking that it's probably because I look to him for strength and love. Unadulterated acceptance. Being held so close to protect me from the world. Maybe even myself. It makes things just a little bit better.

In our little movie we're the main lovers. Star crossed? Nah. Suddenly realizing we're in love? Past that point (it's been five years). No we're just the lovers. Still so in love that when I see happy couples in the movies or TV I miss him. I want him to be next to me. To wrap me up in his arms and love me. To keep me safe.

Woof

It should be your fingers scratching my head

Pictures from a Floating House

From outside the bedroom window: 11:37 am

Secret

A crowded red line train after a baseball game. Night has painted the windows a cool purple background as brick buildings and street lights come and go without end. You and I in the middle, surrounded by our friends and strangers warming us with their body heat.

So many people, so much chit-chat; but really, it is just your eyes, your hands. Our fingers dance together by our sides, playful and secret. One of my fingers stretching out to graze against yours. Resting my nose in your hair and inhaling your smell anytime the train shakes.

And when our friends glance over from their musings and see us, they'll raise a questioning eyebrow.

But we'll say no, we're just friends, it's nothing.

All these people,

all this noise,

eventually we will tell them.

but for now lets keep it like this.

Just keep it us.

Chicago

That beautifully gray, windy town. It probably has the most unpredictable weather in the midwest. I love Chicago. Like almost inappropriately. I've never wanted to be away from it. Any time I've had the opportunity to leave it, even for a few months, I've never taken it. It's like Chicago is a huge couch and I'm its' happy happy potato. I never thought anything could come between us.

Then he moved away. The other man, so to speak. The one that got between me and my city. The streets were no longer as friendly. I couldn't wrap my mind around what was the problem. I still loved the city, don't get me wrong, but it didn't feel the same. It's like the heart (and maybe my heart) were gone. It didn't feel completely like home anymore. When he's not here it's not my couch. It's not my one true love. He is.